Being the Best Me II - After 34.5 Years, I Finally Get It

Written on Monday, April 20, 2009 by Deeze

After all this time, I finally understand the things my father was trying to tell and teach me.

I understand some of his struggles and vices, because I have the similar ones.
I understand the lessons he tried to teach me.
I don't understand why it took me this long and a over a year after his death to get it.
My dad was a lot smarter than I thought and I knew he was smart.

When I exercise alone, I try to focus on things other than exercising to keep me focused and not feel exhaustion and pain. This morning, I started reflecting on some of the things that I am and realized that my dad somehow orchestrated pretty much all of them. I have no idea how he knew, but I know he knew what he was doing.

As I started looking at my life and being thankful, I started realizing how my dad was used to establish some things I am. As small examples, I look at my career, although I'm not a true techie, my company is technology based, and my dad put a computer in my hands before I was 10.

I am a music loving person. I have well over 12,000 mp3's, but I look at my dad and he had stacks and stacks of albums in the basement when I was young. He wanted me to stick to playing music. He tried to establish athletics and exercise in my life, but I really didn't get it or want to do it then. Now, it's a very important part of my life. That's one of the 100s of things that I wish I would have listened to but I didn't. I remember he and my mom would argue about some of the things that he did for me. My dad's work ethic was so ridiculous, and I find myself working a lot.

In a time that everything is about and focused on women in the media, I think people undervalue and under appreciate a fathers influence. I'm guilty of that myself. As I get older, I'm starting to get it.

I understand my family now. My dad provided the means; my mom was the one that made it happen. It was a tag team. As much as my mom and dad fought, I know they had each others backs and the 3 of us functioned as a unit.

I don't know if it was planned, but being independent and fearless are two things that were preached to me at an early age. Although both of those characteristics get me in trouble in certain situations, at the same time it's one of the characteristics I'm most proud of.

As for me, I'm not getting married until, I'm 100% positive that she has my back and not a fair weather person. I have a vision for my life and my family. At the end of the day, either she's on board or not. I've visioned scenarios of my life without kids or being married, and it wasn't a bad life. However, it goes against my family's beliefs as well as against my spiritual beliefs. So I will at least try to listen to those that know more than me. I'll write more about this in a separate blog.

I think I finally get it. I wish my dad were here so I could tell him I finally get it, but somehow I believe he knew I'd get it at some point.

Being the Best Me

Written on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 by Deeze

Wow, I can't believe I haven't posted since January. I've taken a longer break than expected but I guess so much has been going on with my lack of time, I guess my blog has been cut. I've decided to bring it back because it helps me focus better and it leaves a trail of my thoughts.

Although I'm not doing too bad in life, but I feel like I can do better. I'm always an advocate of self improvement. I have a theme for the remainder of this year. I'm working to be the best me possible. What that means is that I am going to maximize every opportunity, and push my self to the limit on everything I do.

Being the Best Me is about being me but better. That means, not trying to emulate or be envious of anyone else, only staying in my lane to reach my full potential.

These are the areas of life I'm focused on being better:

I've been slipping a bit in this area lately. Not only have I not being going to church consistently, but I need to step up my prayer life. In the battle of life, it's your most effective weapon.

Although I don't watch much TV I feel like I've watched more than normal lately and have been engaging in too many mindless activities lately. I guess that's why I make the joke that I feel like I'm losing IQ points. My goal is to go back to reading books and articles more to bring back my mental edge.

Addictive Behavior
Although I don't have an alcohol, nicotine, or drug addiction, there are other addictions that are not the healthiest. For example, I am addicted to sugar. My food addiction is what has helped my body get out of whack.

Health and Fitness
Which brings me here. I'm at the point that I'm totally tired of yo-yoing with weight, exercising, and body fat percentage. Although I know how to dress to hide my blubber, I'm not going to take my shirt off anywhere outside of the vicinity of my home. I'm looking to better my eating habits and learn to trick myself into liking exercising. A few weeks ago I was taken aback by the weight I gained. Unfortunately, no one had the gall to say that I was getting fat so I could get myself back focused.

As a company owner, a teacher, and having a leadership position in an organization, I want to step my leader game up. If I ever decide to have a family I need it there too. I really don't know how to besides just doing it but I'm open to suggestions.